Dating

Staying Safe During BDSM Hookups

Getting out and about on the BDSM scene can feel intimidating to start with, especially for women. There’s always that worry that you might not be safe at a club or on a date in person. I always tell my BDSM hookups that I’ve taken safety precautions just in case trying something unsavoury has crossed their mind, and I think you should too! So if you’re into domination dating, here’s a few tips to help keep you safe.

Tell Someone Where You’re Going

I know, you don’t always want to tell your friends exactly where you’re going and what you’re doing. And this is especially the case if you’ve not told even your closest buddy that you’re into kinky extra-curricular activities.

But there’s no denying that meeting strangers from the internet is a reasonably risky business, especially if you’re a woman or you’re putting yourself in a position of submission. If it’s not possible to tell your bestie exactly what you’re doing, then at least tell them you’re going out on a date and the location of where you’re meeting your hookup.

Email Yourself The Details

Look, if the worst was to happen then the police will be checking out your computer pronto. If there’s nothing particularly interesting on your computer then I suggest taking the password protection off when you head out to your BDSM hookup and making sure your email is easily accessible.

Send yourself an email with everything you know about what you’re doing, where you’re meeting, and who you’re meeting. Include links to BDSM dating profiles, postcodes, and any security arrangements you’v put in place.

Don’t forget that when you’re out and about you can use your mobile phone to take a snap and email it back to yourself. Now obviously taking a picture of someone over dinner might seem a touch rude (although you could probably ask for a selfie), but nobody should object to you snapping a picture of their car if they’re about to give you a lift somewhere and you don’t know them well.

Meet Strangers In Public

I make no secret of the fact that if I’m meeting one to one I either want it to happen in a swing or BDSM club, or in a coffee shop.

Private members clubs should have both CCTV and details of members ID on file. It’s an extra layer of security if something were to happen. The advantage of a club is also that you can play together for the first time in public, and hopefully bystanders would step in if they saw you being taken advantage of.

Notice I said coffee shop, not pub? I want to meet people for a clear-headed conversation before engaging in any kind of sexy playtime with them. Drinking alcohol changes the way people behave and lowers your inhibitions – and I don’t even want to be put in a situation where someone might try and coerce me to drink before playing…


So those were my top three tips for staying safe. Want to share some tips of your own? Comment below!

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