If there’s one thing that I learned when I really got into casual online dating, it’s that dating itself can be a great hobby. Getting out and meeting new people is fun. But the possibility of a whirlwind romance or even a one night stand made it into something exciting and full of adrenaline buzz.
Not everyone is looking to settle down into a long term relationship. But enjoying the single life is no reason why you shouldn’t keep dating. I’ve been a serial-dater for a few years now, and here’s what I’ve learned:
Always Pay For Yourself
Nobody wants to feel like they owe the other person anything. Unfortunately if one person pays for the bill it might be expected that the other person owes them something. And once that happens you’ve created an uncomfortable power dynamic in the relationship.
It’s too easy to end up doing something you regret just because you felt like you owed your date something. So don’t let yourself be put in that position, agree up front that you’ll split all costs in half.
Only Meet Interesting People
If you get even the faintest idea that someone might be a bit dull, don’t meet them. I mean that should go for dating for long-term relationships too, but honestly – it’s just not worth it. You’re looking for someone who you can spend an exciting couple of hours or days with when you’re into casual online dating.
Any sense that someone might not be quite your kind of person on the dating site and you should just let them know that you aren’t continuing the conversation. The same goes in person – if someone isn’t very interesting? Just say it’s not working out and go your separate ways. Life is too short for dates with boring people.
Don’t Let Yourself Get Swept Away
Look, we’ve all been there. We’ve been casually dating around and then we’ve met Mr Right. Or so we thought. Turns out he wasn’t Mr Right at all and we’d just gotten caught up in the romance it all.
Keep your goal in sight. If your goal is to enjoy casual dating then make sure you keep it to casual dating. If you’re not looking for a relationship then keep those boundaries in your mind when you’re arranging dates. Don’t accidentally fall into a relationship that you didn’t want.
Manage People’s Expectations
If you’re not looking for a relationship and you only want to date casually then make sure your dates know that. It’s not really fair to waste people’s time when you’re just looking for casual online dating. Also the last thing you want is someone who thinks you’re the one when you’re really not. That path leads to all kinds of misunderstandings that won’t be as fun as a blockbuster rom-com.
I’ve always found that if I’m up front with people right from the start then there’s a very low chance of my expectations being out of sync with those of my date. Occasionally it happens, but that’s a risk you have to take. But if it all sounds like too much work to manage other peoples ideas of how fun casual dating can be, why not try a swing club instead?